Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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