There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize