We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
