Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
