would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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