ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
