Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
