I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
