Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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