I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
