I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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