She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
