u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
