I heard we made out
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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