does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize