i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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