Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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