He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
