Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
