ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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