i wish there were pregnant emoticons
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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