Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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