I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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