Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
