you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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