i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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