I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
