The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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