Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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