Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
