True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
