I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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