I wanna bring you to show and tell
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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