absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
farters have to be the big spoon...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
