eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
