one two three fourrrrnication!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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