At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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