The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
True but thats because hes a fetus.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
