They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i will never coherently bang her
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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