If i come over, it means nothing
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
