In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
try to milk me bitch
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