Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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