I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
