Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
