So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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