i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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