There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
