Sry I called you an 8
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize