you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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