you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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