Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
