I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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