is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
