you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize