Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this will be a night to untag.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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