You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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