There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
my poor anus
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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