what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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