I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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