I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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