I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
