You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
