Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize